XLR8 The Passionate Leader

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2011-05-15T12:45:00.000-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: Insight from one of my favorite blog writers ~ Steve Roberts @ coolmindwardheart (click)

· In the latest New Yorker magazine, there’s a cartoon that unintentionally reveals the secret of life. It’s a father caveman talking to his son saying: “When I was your age, things were exactly the way they are now.” The humor, of course, is based on the common perception that 10,000 years ago or more, things moved at a much slower clip than they do today. Any grownup in our world saying nothing has changed in his or her lifetime is likely to be viewed as a bit slow, to put it kindly. Call me molasses. For you see, I don’t think things have changed one iota since the dawn of time. I’d say the caption on that cartoon needs one more sentence. Then it would read:

“When I was your age, things were exactly the way they are now. A world of schmoes figuring out how to love.

· Given that as a theme, every once in awhile you get to see your life purpose right smack dab in front of you. It happened this week with someone who “graduated” from the XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence Process. His top passion is to be spiritually connected to God and nature with a marker not to be afraid to love. Here is what he wrote – It’s OK to love.

This experience has opened up the door to my heart. I have rediscovered myself - spiritually and physically. For the first time in a long time, I am comfortable just being me. During this process, I discovered that I’m not a bad guy. I am worth making time for. I am worth taking care of. This time and attention has ultimately helped me understand and love others at a whole new level. The more I care for and help others, the more I am rewarded. This realization has made me a better father, husband and leader. None of this progress would have been possible if I had not first focused on reconnecting with myself.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

As I’ve come to realize in my coaching practice, I am a “heart” guy. It is the heart that bridges the body – mind connection to the spirit. Transformation from a manager to a leader begins with the heart.

For those who have worked with us, you know we are big fans of Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner. We have used The Leadership Challenge (click) – all four editions, as the basic text for the XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence process. It describes the necessary leadership competencies we all need to practice and master in the context of a basic change process. In 2006, they wrote A Leader's Legacy (click) which we began to give as a “graduation” gift at the end of the 18 – 24 month process.

Lastly, they wrote the third book in their trilogy The Truth About Leadership (click) in August 2010. It is actually a pre-quill, and I believe it should be required reading for anyone aspiring to be a leader. Stephen Covey has been credited with saying: “start with the end in mind” as it relates to writing your mission statement. I believe the same is true here – this is where we need to be headed in our leadership journey.

It just so happens that there are 10 truths and truth #10 is “Leadership is an Affair of the Heart”. With all due respect, I would have made it the #1 truth. As they write, “Love is the Soul of Leadership” and as our client above discovered, it starts with YOU!!! Loving YOU!!!

As a fellow schmoe, it takes a lifetime to figure out and practice.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2011-04-21T10:01:00.001-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: Insight from a recent daily quote from Abraham-Hicks Publications

“The best thing you could do for anyone that you love is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy. If it is your dominant intent to hold yourself in vibrational harmony with who you really are, you could never offer any action that would cause anybody else to be unhappy.”

For those who like “happy songs”, take 3 minutes to listen to Song Inside (click) from Wayne Dyer’s 2009 movie, The Shift (click)

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

We just completed another XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence kick-off week @ Bristol Harbour. We now have the distinct pleasure of working with these people for the next 18 months or so. When you talk about happy, these weeks are truly a source of joy and happiness for us all!

We start off on Monday morning with the “Lifeline” exercise, which can be found in The New Leadership Paradigm - Leading Self Booklet (click). It is such a simple exercise, but can be very powerful. If you haven’t done it, it’s very simple. If you have, find it and update it to the present. Here’s how it goes.

Purpose: To uncover and understand the events that have defined who you are today

Objective: To determine what is important to you in your life – now and into the future.

Instructions:

Draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper (landscape), approximately one third down from the top. This line represents your life from birth to death. Mark where you are right now with your age. Leave room for the part of your life that is as yet unlived.
Mark above the line, with approximate dates, the most significant life changing events that you have experienced—your successes, your moments of greatest joy.
Mark below the line, with approximate dates, the most significant life changing events that you have experienced—your challenging times, your moments of sadness.
Write brief notes against each event indicating how this experience impacted you, what you learned about yourself, and what strengths/qualities showed up in you. Jot down how you changed or your relationships changed as a result. Write down the values that became more important to you and the values that became less important to you after each significant experience.
When you have finished, look for common “positive” and “negative” themes, qualities and values.
If you have someone you can share with, take 20 - 30 minutes to tell them your life story and what you believe you have discovered from carrying out this exercise. If you are listening to the story, you may ask clarifying or probing questions, but do not speak of your own experiences. When you have finished, ask the person who has been listening to summarize what they heard and provide any comments or insights they might have.
Summarize what you have learned about yourself. Based on what you learned about yourself, write down the themes/qualities/values - positive and limiting - that are consistently showing up in your life.
Write down what qualities and values you think are important for you to embrace between now and the end of your life.
Complete the worksheet.

We start with this because first and foremost, people who choose to follow us want to know who we are. At Leadership Week, it sets the tone for openness and honesty while beginning to clarify and focus our authentic self.

I encourage everyone to not only do this for yourself, but to have your team complete it and share with each other.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2011-02-20T22:55:00.000-05:00

Weekly Inspiration: Insight from the Dalai Lama from his 2011 calendar:

“Meditation is the process whereby we gain control over the mind and guide it in a more virtuous direction. Meditation may be thought of as a technique by which we diminish the force of old thought habits and develop new ones.” After many years, I have begun to integrate meditation into my daily spiritual practices. This is my major 2011 marker under my #1 passion of “bringing peace and happiness to myself and those I love”.
Since my previous attempts have been unsuccessful, I chose a local Transcendental Meditation coach to help me. I came across TM through the David Lynch Foundation for Consciousness Based Education and World Peace (click). If you go to his website, there are some remarkable results from a variety of different applications - schools, military, prisons, at-risk children, etc. Most recently, Dr. Oz came out with his views on how TM can help reduce stress which leads to numerous illnesses. See video (Click) There are many YouTube videos from very successful people who have found benefits from meditation. Quit complaining about stress and do something about it!

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

A marker that has been part of my passion to coach leaders who are passionate about personal and cultural transformation was to write a book. I actually started in earnest in mid 2010, however, I found that the physical act of writing a book did not bring me JOY!!! Soon after, my friend and colleague, Richard Barrett, of the Barrett Values Centre (Click) asked me to read/edit/add to his book: The New Leadership Paradigm: “Leading Self; Leading Others; Leading an Organization; Leading in Society.” His previous books resonated with me, so it was no surprise that this one did as well.

What I found was that Richard had written much of my book and added the richness of many other Tom Brady’s from around the world. Writing truly gives Richard joy, where coaching people using this work is what gives me joy. From this has come a revision of one of my passions to coach/mentor the future generation of holistic (spiritual) leadership coaches.

Given these two passions, I will be devoting the next several blog posts to the content of the book which was released last month and can be purchased at LuLu Books (Click). It will also be available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble in a month or so.

Here’s a personal Leading Self story - the foundation step of the New Leadership Paradigm. You have heard me say that we are all leaders - starting with “leading our life.” Over the last few years, I have used and coached “The Passion Test” process for people to clarity and focus on what they really, really, really, really….want.

I’ve been reminded of an early experience which made me think about this. I turned 64 on Saturday, and for the last several weeks, the Beatle’s tune When I'm 64 (Click) has been playing in my head. I didn’t remember many of the words beyond the first stanza. Here’s how it played out:

When I get older – I was only 20 when it was released on the Sergeant Pepper’s Album – eons from then.
Losing my hair – I still have quite a bit, but “bald is beautiful” baby!
Many years from now – Men at 64 didn’t look so good in 1967; I’ve been working on it.
Will you still be sending me a Valentine – I am living a beautiful love story, and I never get tired of reading that special Valentine every year.
Birthday greeting – Elaine and all the kids were there.
Bottle of Wine – has to be sparkling grape juice, but that’s just fine with me.

I honestly do remember thinking about what I wanted out of life when I first heard this song. I am grateful now that I have been able to help myself and others to be more intentional about it. We’ll Keep on Truckin’ using Leading Self to assist us. Talk to you next time!

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2011-01-22T15:55:00.000-05:00

Weekly Inspiration: Insight from the Dalai Lama from his 2011 calendar:

“Happiness comes through taming the mind; without taming the mind there is no way to be happy.” This is demonstrated perfectly by HAPPY!!! The Movie-The Movement (Click). The limited edition DVD sale is over, but you can sign up for the newsletter where you will be informed about when it goes on sale. I have an extra copy thanks to my good friend, Joan, that I will begin circulating to all those people who comment about being interested and why in the next 10 days. Make 2011 the year you learn more about how to be happier.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Happy New Year to all!!! I’ve waited a couple of weeks to give you a chance to get settled in the new year before offering some suggestions about how to get off to a great start in making 2011 a year of holistic growth – body – mind – heart & spirit.

An easy way to start the New Year with a little reflection is to pick an angel card @ www.innerlinks.com. We use the angel cards at our Leadership Week on a daily basis and have everyone pick one as a “send off” during the closing ceremony. I have been picking an annual one for several years and adding a mentor card as well.

My 2011 angel card pick is PLAY!!! – “Maximize every moment of aliveness. Experience pleasurable involvement in all your activities and enjoy what you are doing. Have fun!” I will do so by mentoring generosity.

My 2011 started with the daily message from Abraham-Hicks on January 1^st.

The idea of “success,” for most people, revolves around money or the acquisition of property or other possessions, but we consider a state of joy as the greatest achievement of success. And while the attainment of money and wonderful possessions certainly can enhance your state of joy, the achievement of a good-feeling physical body is by far the greatest factor for maintaining a continuing state of joy and Well-Being. And so, there are few things of greater value than the achievement of a good-feeling body.

For many of us, a good-feeling body would be a worthwhile pursuit for 2011. My pursuit began in October 2008 for at least the 10^th time in my life. I started with the XLR8 Your Fitness – Breakthrough Goal Process, which I’d love to share with you through my Google group – XLR8!!! Your Fitness. I have maintained my targeted weight and enhanced my overall fitness over the last 2½ years – my personal best!!!

In order to keep my record going, I’d like to help you, which would help me. Go to the blog itself and comment or e-mail me and I’ll get you started. There is no charge for this - just your commitment.

If it’s not fitness you are interested in but would like to accomplish something significant in 2011, then join my Google group - XLR8!!! Your Passions. Come play with me. Let me show you how this can be fun!

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-12-23T16:19:00.000-05:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“I am very good at giving encouragement and compliments to others.” I thought this was appropriate for the holidays. If you haven’t already, remind yourself of all the people, places and things you are grateful for.

Now, throughout the holidays, make it a point to offer validation to all those people you are grateful for. These relationships are the foundation of your happiness. Here are a couple of options for you:

Take 3.5 minutes to watch Marshall Goldsmith’s You Tube video: "Failing to Express Gratitude" click.
Take 16 minutes to watch a short film: "Validation" click from one of my favorite monthly subscriptions: “The Spiritual Cinema Circle” (“your choice of feel-good entertainment that inspires compassion, conversation and change”).

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Along those lines, we are grateful for our relationship with all of you. We would love to continue to be part of your lifetime journey of happiness. In that spirit, below are a couple of great gifts you can buy yourself and share with those you love to make 2011 the best year ever:

The Power of Intention - Gift Edition - "Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way” (Click)

Watch his YouTube video - Watch his YouTube video (click)

Happy the Movie, The Movement (click) HAPPY is a feature documentary that takes us on a journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the slums of Kolkata in search of what really makes people happy. Combining powerful interviews with the leading scientists in happiness research and real life stories of ordinary and extraordinary people around the world, HAPPY uncovers the secrets behind our most valued emotion.

Elaine and I wish you all a wonderful holiday season. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!! See you in 2011.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-11-21T21:59:00.001-05:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“When I wake up in the morning I plan for a good day. My anticipation attracts good experiences to me.” Last night, Elaine, Andrew and I were playing cards. As we were jibber-jabbering, someone said something that made us all belly laugh. Over the course of the evening, we laughed like this several times . . . you know the kind . . . laughing so hard your belly shakes and tears come to your eyes. I thought to myself: “Wow, I could sure use more of that every day”!

So this morning, right on queue, I get this e-mail from Simple Truths with the subject line: “A movie to brighten your day . . .”. Did you know that laughter is one of the simple joys in life; and recent studies say we need 12 laughs a day just to stay healthy. Well, this little three-minute movie is our contribution to your good health. Just sit back, turn up your speakers and take a little vacation . . . on us! Just “click here” to watch. Wake up every day with the intention to laugh at least 12 times! I know I have a ways to go.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

WHAT ARE YOU DREAMING?!!! More importantly, are you on a path to realize those dreams? Watch this one-minute video click here by Marcia Wieder; “America’s Dream Coach.”

I ask you this now because I want our 2011 to be the best year ever. I say “our” because we will be able to accomplish this best by doing it together. Starting in 2011, I will be offering a refresher on the XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence process that emphasizes your authenticity. I believe the clarity and focus of your authentic self is fundamental to personal and professional leadership success.

Most of you who have worked with Elaine and me over the last 10 years, came away with a heighted sense of your authentic self following your week-long leadership experience. Remember our measurement system that consists of:

What do you really, really, really, really want? . . .

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream;

merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream!

My guess is that most of us have not kept up with a periodic review of these measures. Indeed, I have stated to our recent “graduates” that if we leave you with anything from our coaching, it is the desire and habit to keep updating and revising these measures over time.

This statement has inspired me to offer you a forum to revisit this work and keep moving in a positive direction to living a life of your dreams. Since we are continuously improving the process, most of you have not been a part of our latest thinking and techniques that will deepen your own work and hopefully make it easier for you to assist others. For those of you who have not worked with us, then we would be honored to get you started.

Between now and the New Year, I will be providing you with some additional background as to why this is important that inspires you to participate. Reading this blog is indeed the first step. Thank you for that.

Let me leave you with Napoleon Hill’s quotation which is the heading on our Passion Cards – “Cherish your visions and dreams, as they are the children of your soul, and the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” As Marcia stated in her video, the world needs our dreams!!!

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-10-31T23:41:00.001-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“When it is time for a new job, the opportunity presents itself.” One of my clients has an interesting story that is still unfolding which relates directly to this quote. He separated from his last job at the end of 2009. While he hadn’t been happy there for a while, it still came as a shock. I was lucky enough to start working with him based on the recommendation of his next-door neighbor. Actually, his neighbor recommended me several months before. So how was this unemployment and forced life transition a gift?
For me, it has been the joy of being of service to him and helping him become clear and focused on what is most important to him. For him, it was the opportunity be fully engaged during his parents’ passing since they lived six hours away. His Mom’s death was expected and occurred a little before the Leadership Week he attended in the Spring, while his Dad’s was unexpected a few days ago. That’s where he was called to serve and he is grateful for that gift of time, even though it was very difficult.
I had coffee with him this week and while he was making the final arrangements for his Dad, a very promising job possibility materialized. He had a great phone interview with the President of the company and looks forward to the follow-up visit to the company. It will make a great story if this is the job that he has been waiting for particularly given the timing. Wish him food fortune, along with us!

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

I received a new Audio-Tech Business Book summary of a book I read just when it hit the New York Times Bestselling list in early 2010. The book is Drive – The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us - click by Daniel Pink. (If you would like the PDF file of the book summary, e-mail me.) It is a must read for anyone aspiring to be a better leader. Not because we need to “motivate” people, but rather we need to create a culture that allows people to realize their intrinsic motivations.

In order to better understand “Motivation 3.0” as Daniel calls it, take 10 minutes to watch this RSAnimate of YouTube-Drive - click. He talks about Type X and Type 1 behaviors. “Motivation 2.0” depends on Type X behavior, which is fueled by extrinsic desires - meaning the external rewards to which that activity leads. Quite frankly, it is what many still think is leadership’s job - to motivate using the carrot and stick approach.

”Motivation 3.0” is fueled more by intrinsic desires or Type 1 behaviors - meaning the emphasis is less with the external rewards and more with the inherent satisfaction of the activity itself. If leadership wants to strengthen their organizations, they need to move from Type X to Type 1. Ultimately, Type 1 behavior depends on the following three elements:

Autonomy – the desire to direct our own lives and work.

Mastery – the urge to get better and better at something that matters.

Purpose – the yearning to do what we do in service of something larger than ourselves.

After a thorough explanation of the above, Pink spends the last third of the book on the strategies that individuals and then organizations can do to put them into action. This alone is worth the read since he makes a convincing case that organizations ignore intrinsic motivation at their peril.

Those who have read Alfie Kohn’s book: Punished by Rewards (referenced in my 6/13 – 6/20, 2010 blog) or Brady Wilson’s, Love at Work, know this isn’t new information. It hasn’t gained wide acceptance and must be repeated often because the current generation of senior leadership, by and large, have been brought up by “Motivation 2.0”. While we will understand the merits of “motivation 3.0” and will hopefully encourage our successors to adopt it, most of us will have a hard time changing our old habits.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-09-12T18:01:00.001-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“I am dancing with joy. My life is so good.” I picked this one because I’ve had a series of physical challenges lately that literally makes it difficult to dance (nothing serious - just “old jock” stuff). I like the title because it starts with the word “learning”. We don’t feel like dancing with joy every day. How do we learn to live in gratitude for all the reasons to dance? One way is getting in the habit of watching the Simple Truths video - Learning to Dance in the Rain – The Power of Gratitude
Last week, we passed the one-year-to-go anniversary to my daughter Molly’s wedding – 09-10-11. They haven’t picked the song for their first dance as a husband and wife. I’ve sent them a couple of suggestions just for the fun of it. I just put my favorite on my desktop - Colour My World, by Chicago, to remind me how to feel love around me every day. Enjoy!

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

I was planning on moving on to The Passion Test as the next important step in providing clarity and focus in your life and leadership, however, something very interesting happened with one of our clients following her second 360⁰ assessment that I’d like to address.

We All Need Loving Critics

When Kouzes & Posner came out with A Leader’s Legacy in 2006, it immediately became the book we gave to all our “graduates” of the “XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence” process. One chapter that had an immediate impact on our coaching was Chapter 3: We All Need Loving Critics.

We use The Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI), their 30-question behavioral assessment, as one of two 360⁰ assessments. Their most recent analysis of data from more than seventy thousand individuals found that the statement that ranks lowest from the observers perspective is question # 16: “He (or she) asks for feedback on how his/her actions affects the other person’s performance.”

We found the same true was true from our experience with our coaching clients. We asked ourselves how we could help our clients ask “How am I doing?” more. Going forward we tried to emphasize the following:

Getting back to their raters: While fundamental to initiate change, many find this very difficult.

Creating an XLR8Forward inquiry on the leadership behavior they want to demonstrate more and handing it out at the feedback session and then again several months down the road.

Read Marshall Goldsmith’s audio-tech summary: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There (e-mail me if you would like a copy) and utilize Feedforward for quick ways of asking “How can I do better?”.

We are currently participating in a study of these changes with a PhD student in St. John Fisher’s Executive Leadership program. We chose to look at this because of one of our client’s remarkable second 360⁰ results.

Her second LPI showed the largest gains of just about anyone we have worked with. When we looked at question #16 (hers was also last at #30) in her first 360⁰, however, it was #19 (the highest we have ever seen) in her second 360⁰. She did an excellent job with all of the above suggestions, as well as acting on the ideas she felt would help the most.

We’ll let you know what we find in the research study. In the meantime, just ask the question: “How can I do better?”.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-08-22T23:57:00.000-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate.” Over the years, many of my self-help coaches have reinforced that how you start your day is important. I like what my colleague, Steve D’Annunzio, calls it - taking time for your spiritual practices.
For me, this includes exercise, going over my `”XLR8 My Power” statement, my passions and my happiness list, and lastly meditating. I’ve passed along Steve’s short video to several clients recently – it being the missing piece of their spiritual practices. Maybe it is for you also. Try it! How to Meditate - click

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Here’s the last installment on using your unique ability to “XLR8” down the road to JOY!!! in our formula that begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. Again, if after you identify your Unique Ability you are only spending 10% of your time practicing it consciously (the average time most of us do), it will take a long time to get to that 10,000 hours of focus. What would your job engagement be like if you could double it?!

Try this very simple exercise to help you place more focus on your Unique Ability.

Grab a blank piece of paper and write your Unique Ability statement on the top.

Next, write in bold letters: “What are my 10 best habits?” that I have in support of my Unique Ability. List as many as you get right now. Then pay attention over the next few days to see how you might add to this list. Hopefully, you can list 10, if not, that’s okay.
You’ll find that these habits are: easy to do, you love doing them, they are very energizing, and you keep getting better at them.

Now on another blank piece of paper, draw a 4” diameter circle in the middle of the page. Inside, write down your list of your 10 best habits. Over the next week or so, write down those things you do on a regular basis that is not part of your 10 best habits.

Since there are only so many hours in your day, the only way to get more Unique Ability practice time, is to delegate or stop doing those tasks you do outside the circle. As you find more time, go back to the exercise detailed in my last blog and start doing more intentional things to hone your Unique Ability skills.

I have found this exercise very different from a traditional “delegation” exercise. Most of us would admit that we should delegate more, and do so after this exercise because of the inherent motivation to do more of your Unique Ability. Try it and let me know if it was helpful.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-07-19T14:19:00.000-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“I communicate easily and lovingly with all living beings, great and small, and know that they deserve my love and protection.” This fits perfectly with a Warren Buffet interview someone sent me this week entitled: The Best Advice He Ever Received (click) He spoke of the biggest lesson he received from his father about unconditional love and that when you offer it to your child, you are “90% of the way home.”
It made me wonder about offering it and accepting it. In my own family of origin, it was offered to all four of us, but only two of us accepted it. It has been the difference in the quality of my life, and hopefully, I passed it along to my children.
Lastly, do you love yourself unconditionally (the “L” in my formula)? As Warren states, it’s not uncritical love and there may be days when you don’t feel like it, but you know that you can always come back. For those who don’t get or accept their parent’s unconditional love, it’s a long, difficult road, but one worth taking.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

We’ll continue this week on our road to JOY!!! in our formula that begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. As I mentioned last week, when I clarified my unique ability as an enthusiastic, positive, consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change, I got very charged up!

A deep thinker on this subject is Dan Sullivan, founder of The Strategic Coach Program (click). In his audio presentation, “Focusing Your Unique Ability,” he spoke of identifying your Unique Ability and then concentrating on it for at least 10 years, which means 10,000 hours of focus. This will transform it into “Genius” and provide a unique value to the world . . . a tall order for sure, but that’s when I started in 1994.

After following last week’s exercise, I understood how my Unique Ability had gotten me to where I was at the time, however, I also realized that I was successful doing much of this work unconsciously, and even in a self-doubting manner at times. I decided that my future success would hinge on being totally conscious, committed, and confident in continuously developing and practicing my Unique Ability. Since I didn’t want to be where I was anymore professionally, I had to explore what profession would allow me to make a living focusing on my Unique Ability. Given my experience as an executive leader and my passion for creating workplaces that truly valued people first, I was attracted to executive leadership coaching.

I used the words in my own Unique Ability to guide my studies:

Enthusiastic: (latin: en – in + theos – god/spirit) – thus my vision statement above inviting you and your organization to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Positive: I have studied Positiveness; Appreciative Inquiry; Positive Psychology; and other forms of positive energy creation and healing incorporating them into my work and personal life.

Consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change: that sounds like a coach/consultant to me. I hired a coach, joined a professional coaching organization and took certification courses.

How could you look at your Unique Ability statement in the same way and be more conscious and committed to continuously improve and spend more time practicing it?

Next time, I’ll take you through a very simple exercise which will help you place more focus on your Unique Ability.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-07-06T20:38:00.001-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“I am totally free to choose thoughts of joy. It is my Divine right to do so.” Here are some thoughts of joy that Mike Cullen sent me after last week’s blog related to the book: Positivity – Top Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life (click). It fits perfectly with Tool #10: Ritualize Gratitude in Chapter 11. He dug up an old poem which deserves a place on your refrigerator or happiness list for a period of time.

Be yourself..............Have a great day ahead

Be understanding to your perceived enemies.

Be loyal to your friends.

Be strong enough to face the world each day.

Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.

Be generous to those who need your help.

Be frugal with what you need yourself.

Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.

Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.

Be willing to share your joys.

Be willing to share the sorrows of others.

Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.

Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty.

Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.

Be last to criticize a colleague who fails.

Be sure where your next step will fall so that you will not tumble.

Be sure of your final destination in case you are going the wrong way.

Be loving to those who love you.

Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change.

Above all, be yourself.

Just Be Yourself!!!

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Indeed the road to JOY!!! in our formula begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. In other words - just being yourself! The first step towards clarity is writing down what we call your inner guidance system consisting of Unique Ability, Personal Mission and Values, and Passions.

This was one of the most significant steps for me in starting The XLR8 Team. In the mid-90’s, I discovered my unique ability using this process:

Ask a minimum of 10 friends, family & colleagues: What is my unique ability - why do you have a relationship with me; what is it about me that makes our relationship special. Limit to 2 - 3 words or a short concise sentence.
On a piece of paper, draw a circle with as many lines as there are people who responded radiating from it - I call this the sundial. In each space, write the 2 or 3 words that had the most meaning from each of your participants. Highlight similar words or themes that belong in your unique ability statement.
Lastly, write a 15 – 20 word sentence that best captures those themes.

When I discovered mine - Enthusiastic, positive, consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change – I had no idea it would lead to coaching and The XLR8 Team.

Next week, we will talk about how to better utilize this aspect of your “G”.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-06-29T22:41:00.000-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“I surround myself with positive-thinking people.” This may be easier said than done for some people given the adage “you can choose your friends, but not your family”. In any event, when you have the choice, who do you spend your time with? If you want more positive experiences in your life, check out who you spend your time with.
Why is this important? I just completed a book entitled: “Positivity – Top Notch Research Reveals the 3 – 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life”. Positivity – Top Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life (click). Positive psychology pioneer, Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., introduces readers to the power of harnessing happiness to transform their lives backed up by impressive lab research. The author lays out the core truths and 10 forms of positivity - joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love - in a book that promises to change the way people look at feeling good. She provides scientific evidence to illustrate her findings that maintaining a 3:1 positivity ratio of positive thoughts to negative emotions creates a tipping point between languishing and flourishing. What is your Positivity Ratio? (click) Eighty percent of Americans fall short of this ratio!!!

PLEASE NOTE: In response to the last blog posting, Joan Shafer passed along Daniel Pink’s great YouTube video: “Drive – The Surprising Truth About What Motives Us” (click). Every leader should know this basic truth. Play it forward.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An Invitation to Our Vision

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Thanks to the people who asked where my blog was last week. I took Father’s Day off which was a wonderful celebration at our home with 25 family members. It was the first time in a while where all our adult children were in town. My middle daughter, Molly, gave me a “Chicken Soup for the Soul Book – Thanks Dad”, which I am enjoying. The stories are from children remembering how their Dads said “I love you”, taught them life lessons and gave them moments that last forever, etc.

Like coaching, great parents learn as much form their children as they teach. One story reminded me of when I quit my job to start The XLR8 Team in 1996. What terrible timing . . . my girls were 16 and 13, and my son was 7 years old. How would we pay for college? We survived – in fact, our last payment was April 1^st. The best encouragement came from my son, Andrew, in the form of a poem:

My Dad “XLR8s”

My Dad had a job that was really great, but he wants to XLR8.

XLR8 will be great when my Dad gets a lot of business dates.

He will charge a big, fat rate, so I hope he doesn’t show up late.

I really think it must be fate, for my Dad’s new business to XLR8!!!

I tell this story because he helped me as I attempted to keep my own 3:1 ratio on the many days of self doubt and negative thinking. I framed the poem and put it on my office wall along with my “inner guidance system” (unique ability, personal mission and values). In today’s terms, I include them as part of my vision board.

Let me end this week’s posting with another invitation that kept me going in 1999 from Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living,

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare

to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know

if you will risk looking like a fool for love,

for your dream, for the adventure of being alive…

This is the basis for XLR8 YOU!!! “Leadership Excellence”. It all starts with how you lead your life!!!

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-06-13T23:13:00.001-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“I am grateful for everything in my life. The last thing I do before I drift off to sleep is to express gratitude for every experience I have had during the day.” This has been even more poignant since two people my age who I know passed away recently. Both were doing what they loved to do up to the very end. One was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last June, and because he loved to write, he created a blog to help himself and others cope with what turned out to be a terminal illness. Check it out at www.jaygallagher.blogspot.com. The second was a former champion body builder who I met at the gym and knew casually in high school. He was always helping people with their fitness, including volunteering, as a strength coach to our local high schools. He had a massive stroke in the locker room and never recovered.
It just makes me even more committed to the “L” in my formula: loving yourself by doing what you love to do in service of others who love what you do. I remind myself every day of what that means by reading my “happiness list” every morning when I get up and every evening before I go to bed. It is my list of a dozen things I want to bring more fully into my life every day. Thanks Jay and Max for making that a deeper experience.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An Invitation

Our Vision – for all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

How I arrived at this statement forms the basis of my formula G + L + F = JOY!!! I suppose it started because of my own frustration over two of the most overused words in business today - engagement and empowerment. Not only was I feeling less of it, I know the people I lead felt the same. That’s because businesses think that “they need to do something” to engage or empower us. Alfie Kohn’s speech: “The ABC’s of Motivation” put it in perspective for me.

In the mid 90’s, I attended a luncheon where he spoke of his book: Punished by Rewards: “The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise and Other Bribes.” Since being a coach was about motivating people, so I thought, I listened with great interest. He challenged contemporary thinking that while manipulating people with incentives may seem to work in the short run; they ultimately fail and even do lasting harm in the long run. Drawing from hundreds of studies, he demonstrated that people actually do inferior work when they are enticed by money, grades or incentives. The more we use artificial inducements to motivate people, the more they lose interest in what we are bribing them to do.

I took copious notes that day which I have sent to numerous people over the years. I read his book with great interest and confirmed my beliefs that current organizational practices are just another example of insanity – doing the same thing, maybe even more of it and expecting greater results. Long lasting motivation is an inside job (intrinsic)! The outside (extrinsic) motivators we can provide in organizations as leaders must be aligned with the inside motivators we discover for ourselves and encourage that discover in our people. These motivators are captured in Alfie’s ABC’s of motivation.

A = Autonomy. People need to be invited, not coerced. The true measure of engagement or empowerment is whether people have to or want to work there. Treat people like volunteers or they will leave. In my opinion, there is so much job hopping today because most organizational cultures stink! They still treat people like machines - making every little decision. They can budget and spend their annual salaries in their personal life but need boss approval to spend $25!

B = Belonging. People need to feel a part of something larger than themselves. Organizations need to provide a compelling vision, mission and values along with leadership that inspires them to follow them with integrity. More importantly, however, each individual has to figure out for themselves why they are on this planet and how their organization gives them a place to live it.

C = Competence. People want to be good at something. Organizations need to better match people with their skills and talents. We need to help people develop their “G” (Genius, Greatness), because we all have it inside and once discovered, developed and practiced, organizational productivity and engagement soar.

So thanks, Alfie, for this logical argument - it makes a lot of sense. I motivated me to start the XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence process with the “G” of the formula.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-06-01T01:22:00.000-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

I am satisfied, fulfilled, and complete. And I am ready for new adventures of every kind. I clean out the old closets of my mind to prepare for all the wonderful things that are coming to me. This was the summary page for June. Very fitting since I have very limited appointments this month so I can make a major dent in writing my book. I know that this will not only help me realize how I can continue to serve the world, but is turning out to be a springboard into new learnings and experiences.
A case in point is I began reading Dr. Darren Weissman’s second book, Awakening to the Secret Code of Your Mind. After my PSYCH-K training and practice, this is a perfect follow-up. His focus is on self-love and choosing love over fear, two key themes of my book that I am bringing more openly into the business arena for those attracted to it. I still have a lot to learn about both and hope to take his workshops in 2011 to support my passion of bringing peace and happiness to myself and those I love.

It’s a time of celebration for the Brady’s – My Greatest Leadership Challenge!

I’m going to bore you with a little Brady news, because May has been an incredible month. Please look back over your recent past and celebrate your abundance.

Anyone with children knows that it is the hardest job you’ll ever have. We get no training, except from our parents (yikes! – is that what our kids will say too?) and kids don’t come with an owner’s manual. That’s the beauty of it all really because being a parent is one of the best learning experiences here at Earth School.

Andrew, my youngest, graduated from Cornell this weekend. We are so proud of how he has approached his life and challenges. He has a presence that is truly remarkable, when he isn’t over stressed during exam week! He will make a difference in this world, as we all will and do.

My oldest, Laura, had her 31^st birthday this week. She teaches 9^th graders primarily – you know how they are! She got five cakes, a hundred cards or notes – it was overwhelming. What do you think, does she teach from love or fear? Wow!!!

Lastly, my middle daughter Molly chose her wedding reception place and we put the deposit on it for 09-10-11. She is so happy and so are we. What a wonderful celebration to look forward to. Finding the love of your life is such a gift and probably the second most difficult job here at Earth School.

I am so grateful that Elaine is such a patient and loving teacher and partner who has made all the above possible with me.

Celebrate your blessings!!!

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

2010-05-23T22:24:00.000-04:00

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

“Life is an exciting surprise. I wake up in the morning looking for positive experiences, and I find them in the most unexpected places.” As I mentioned last time, I just returned from the second symposium of The Soul Purpose Institute presented by Steve D’Annunzio. He is a strong advocate of a “prosperity hour” every morning consisting of exercise and meditation, which he refers to as “spiritual practices”.
When he first talked about it about a year ago, I said no way, I don’t have that kind of time. Over the last year, I have gotten up every morning do my abs and arms exercises. I also read over my happiness list now, my XLR8 YOUR POWER statement (Steve calls it “reality statement”) and meditate. It is such an amazing way to start the day. Start small, I did. But, just start!

I am on a mission to learn and teach to lead from love.

This is another statement from my XLR8 YOUR POWER statement. I mention it this week since I had the opportunity to see it in action first hand this week.

A former client of mine recently accepted a new position in a community closer to her family. She isn’t taking the job as much for the relocation, but because it is her next big breakthrough goal.

When I first met her, she was given a promotion to the corporate offices after an extremely successful turn-around operational assignment. One of her new areas of responsibility was leadership development and when I started working with her, I knew she got the love-fear equation. Unfortunately, the culture did not support or recognize that as a strength. Eventually, the fear culture created by top leadership lead to her deciding to see what was next for her.

Most of the 150 people at the going away party this week were there to celebrate the love and inspiration she created over the years. During an almost endless video testimonial presentation, I never heard “love” mentioned more about a leader. After she made some brief comments about how much each of them has taught and inspired her, more people grabbed the microphone to laugh, cry and thank her for all she did and how she loved them all.

The best part of this story is yet to come. She accepted a position where she is the top leader, able to create a culture that she is dreaming of and believes in with all her heart. No one deserves this opportunity more. The people she will serve will be in for something special. She will learn a ton while she creates something that must be duplicated if there is any hope for this world. That’s the power of leading from love. You go, Girl!!!