XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I am dancing with joy. My life is so good.” I picked this one because I’ve had a series of physical challenges lately that literally makes it difficult to dance (nothing serious - just “old jock” stuff). I like the title because it starts with the word “learning”. We don’t feel like dancing with joy every day. How do we learn to live in gratitude for all the reasons to dance? One way is getting in the habit of watching the Simple Truths video - Learning to Dance in the Rain – The Power of Gratitude
• Last week, we passed the one-year-to-go anniversary to my daughter Molly’s wedding – 09-10-11. They haven’t picked the song for their first dance as a husband and wife. I’ve sent them a couple of suggestions just for the fun of it. I just put my favorite on my desktop - Colour My World, by Chicago, to remind me how to feel love around me every day. Enjoy!

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

I was planning on moving on to The Passion Test as the next important step in providing clarity and focus in your life and leadership, however, something very interesting happened with one of our clients following her second 360⁰ assessment that I’d like to address.

We All Need Loving Critics

When Kouzes & Posner came out with A Leader’s Legacy in 2006, it immediately became the book we gave to all our “graduates” of the “XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence” process. One chapter that had an immediate impact on our coaching was Chapter 3: We All Need Loving Critics.

We use The Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI), their 30-question behavioral assessment, as one of two 360⁰ assessments. Their most recent analysis of data from more than seventy thousand individuals found that the statement that ranks lowest from the observers perspective is question # 16: “He (or she) asks for feedback on how his/her actions affects the other person’s performance.”

We found the same true was true from our experience with our coaching clients. We asked ourselves how we could help our clients ask “How am I doing?” more. Going forward we tried to emphasize the following:

1. Getting back to their raters: While fundamental to initiate change, many find this very difficult.

2. Creating an XLR8Forward inquiry on the leadership behavior they want to demonstrate more and handing it out at the feedback session and then again several months down the road.

3. Read Marshall Goldsmith’s audio-tech summary: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There (e-mail me if you would like a copy) and utilize Feedforward for quick ways of asking “How can I do better?”.

We are currently participating in a study of these changes with a PhD student in St. John Fisher’s Executive Leadership program. We chose to look at this because of one of our client’s remarkable second 360⁰ results.

Her second LPI showed the largest gains of just about anyone we have worked with. When we looked at question #16 (hers was also last at #30) in her first 360⁰, however, it was #19 (the highest we have ever seen) in her second 360⁰. She did an excellent job with all of the above suggestions, as well as acting on the ideas she felt would help the most.

We’ll let you know what we find in the research study. In the meantime, just ask the question: “How can I do better?”.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate.” Over the years, many of my self-help coaches have reinforced that how you start your day is important. I like what my colleague, Steve D’Annunzio, calls it - taking time for your spiritual practices.
• For me, this includes exercise, going over my `”XLR8 My Power” statement, my passions and my happiness list, and lastly meditating. I’ve passed along Steve’s short video to several clients recently – it being the missing piece of their spiritual practices. Maybe it is for you also. Try it! How to Meditate - click

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Here’s the last installment on using your unique ability to “XLR8” down the road to JOY!!! in our formula that begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. Again, if after you identify your Unique Ability you are only spending 10% of your time practicing it consciously (the average time most of us do), it will take a long time to get to that 10,000 hours of focus. What would your job engagement be like if you could double it?!

Try this very simple exercise to help you place more focus on your Unique Ability.

1. Grab a blank piece of paper and write your Unique Ability statement on the top.
1. Next, write in bold letters: “What are my 10 best habits?” that I have in support of my Unique Ability. List as many as you get right now. Then pay attention over the next few days to see how you might add to this list. Hopefully, you can list 10, if not, that’s okay.
2. You’ll find that these habits are: easy to do, you love doing them, they are very energizing, and you keep getting better at them.

2. Now on another blank piece of paper, draw a 4” diameter circle in the middle of the page. Inside, write down your list of your 10 best habits. Over the next week or so, write down those things you do on a regular basis that is not part of your 10 best habits.

Since there are only so many hours in your day, the only way to get more Unique Ability practice time, is to delegate or stop doing those tasks you do outside the circle. As you find more time, go back to the exercise detailed in my last blog and start doing more intentional things to hone your Unique Ability skills.

I have found this exercise very different from a traditional “delegation” exercise. Most of us would admit that we should delegate more, and do so after this exercise because of the inherent motivation to do more of your Unique Ability. Try it and let me know if it was helpful.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I communicate easily and lovingly with all living beings, great and small, and know that they deserve my love and protection.” This fits perfectly with a Warren Buffet interview someone sent me this week entitled: The Best Advice He Ever Received (click) He spoke of the biggest lesson he received from his father about unconditional love and that when you offer it to your child, you are “90% of the way home.”
• It made me wonder about offering it and accepting it. In my own family of origin, it was offered to all four of us, but only two of us accepted it. It has been the difference in the quality of my life, and hopefully, I passed it along to my children.
• Lastly, do you love yourself unconditionally (the “L” in my formula)? As Warren states, it’s not uncritical love and there may be days when you don’t feel like it, but you know that you can always come back. For those who don’t get or accept their parent’s unconditional love, it’s a long, difficult road, but one worth taking.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

We’ll continue this week on our road to JOY!!! in our formula that begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. As I mentioned last week, when I clarified my unique ability as an enthusiastic, positive, consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change, I got very charged up!

A deep thinker on this subject is Dan Sullivan, founder of The Strategic Coach Program (click). In his audio presentation, “Focusing Your Unique Ability,” he spoke of identifying your Unique Ability and then concentrating on it for at least 10 years, which means 10,000 hours of focus. This will transform it into “Genius” and provide a unique value to the world . . . a tall order for sure, but that’s when I started in 1994.

After following last week’s exercise, I understood how my Unique Ability had gotten me to where I was at the time, however, I also realized that I was successful doing much of this work unconsciously, and even in a self-doubting manner at times. I decided that my future success would hinge on being totally conscious, committed, and confident in continuously developing and practicing my Unique Ability. Since I didn’t want to be where I was anymore professionally, I had to explore what profession would allow me to make a living focusing on my Unique Ability. Given my experience as an executive leader and my passion for creating workplaces that truly valued people first, I was attracted to executive leadership coaching.

I used the words in my own Unique Ability to guide my studies:

1. Enthusiastic: (latin: en – in + theos – god/spirit) – thus my vision statement above inviting you and your organization to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

2. Positive: I have studied Positiveness; Appreciative Inquiry; Positive Psychology; and other forms of positive energy creation and healing incorporating them into my work and personal life.

3. Consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change: that sounds like a coach/consultant to me. I hired a coach, joined a professional coaching organization and took certification courses.

How could you look at your Unique Ability statement in the same way and be more conscious and committed to continuously improve and spend more time practicing it?

Next time, I’ll take you through a very simple exercise which will help you place more focus on your Unique Ability.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I am totally free to choose thoughts of joy. It is my Divine right to do so.” Here are some thoughts of joy that Mike Cullen sent me after last week’s blog related to the book: Positivity – Top Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life (click). It fits perfectly with Tool #10: Ritualize Gratitude in Chapter 11. He dug up an old poem which deserves a place on your refrigerator or happiness list for a period of time.

Be yourself..............Have a great day ahead

Be understanding to your perceived enemies.

Be loyal to your friends.

Be strong enough to face the world each day.

Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.

Be generous to those who need your help.

Be frugal with what you need yourself.

Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.

Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.

Be willing to share your joys.

Be willing to share the sorrows of others.

Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.

Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty.

Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.

Be last to criticize a colleague who fails.

Be sure where your next step will fall so that you will not tumble.

Be sure of your final destination in case you are going the wrong way.

Be loving to those who love you.

Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change.

Above all, be yourself.

Just Be Yourself!!!

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Indeed the road to JOY!!! in our formula begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. In other words - just being yourself! The first step towards clarity is writing down what we call your inner guidance system consisting of Unique Ability, Personal Mission and Values, and Passions.

This was one of the most significant steps for me in starting The XLR8 Team. In the mid-90’s, I discovered my unique ability using this process:

1. Ask a minimum of 10 friends, family & colleagues: What is my unique ability - why do you have a relationship with me; what is it about me that makes our relationship special. Limit to 2 - 3 words or a short concise sentence.
2. On a piece of paper, draw a circle with as many lines as there are people who responded radiating from it - I call this the sundial. In each space, write the 2 or 3 words that had the most meaning from each of your participants. Highlight similar words or themes that belong in your unique ability statement.
3. Lastly, write a 15 – 20 word sentence that best captures those themes.

When I discovered mine - Enthusiastic, positive, consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change – I had no idea it would lead to coaching and The XLR8 Team.

Next week, we will talk about how to better utilize this aspect of your “G”.