XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “My work is deeply fulfilling for me. I follow my higher instincts and listen to my heart in all that I do.”
• Of course this has to do with the “L” in my formula for happiness – “loving yourself by doing what you love in service of those who love what you do.” We are coaching several people who are stuck in jobs they don’t love mainly for financial security. All I can say is … I left a six-figure job in 1996 with three kids - 17, 14, & 8 - to do what I love. I would hate to think how I would see my life now if I hadn’t done it. At 63, I am now ready to do it again! Don’t play it safe, you are playing small!!!
• Another great example was today’s CBS Sunday Morning. Joy Behar, at 68, says she is at the pinnacle of her career. I don’t care what you think about her “views”, but at forty, she knew many things she wasn’t good at. She finally had the courage to do what she always knew she was meant to do, stand-up comedy. You must believe it, then you’ll see it. Once you do, the world of opportunity opens up. This is best described by a quote from one of our new clients who noted that our leadership retreat was one of “the best weeks of my life.” He went on to say that “if you don’t go within, you’ll go without.” Brilliant!

How do I do better? XLR8Forward

We are now catching up to those participants from our last leadership retreat week from early March. A few weeks ago, I spoke of the question that ranks lowest from the Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI) 360⁰ assessment.

#16. (He or she) asks for feedback on how his/her actions affect other people’s performance.

One of the ways to get feedback fast worked great at the retreat. It is based on Marshall Goldsmith’s “Feedforward.” (Click to see 4 minute video) One of the participants said it was like “speed dating”. After reviewing the DISC self-assessment, each participant chose one area that they would like to improve on and followed Marshall’s process. In 2 – 3 minutes, they received a few ideas as well as helped their partner with a few ideas. In 10 – 15 minutes, they had multiple perspectives and a handful of great ideas.

The second way is a little more involved. We call it XLR8Forward. First, you pick a particular issue from the 360⁰ assessment that you’d like more insight on. Second, you write a short paragraph (preamble) saying why this is important to your leadership development. Third, you think of a time when you actually did it and detail why it was a memorable experience. It is now very easy to think of more ways you could demonstrate this particular behavior or action. (If you’d like a template, e-mail me.).

Lastly, when you share your 360⁰ data with your raters, you share your story and hand out an XLR8Forward so they can fill out in the future. One new client just did so around the LPI question “supports decisions other people make on their own.” When reviewing this with one of his direct reports, his direct report said he does it sometimes - but not enough. This led to a very open discussion about what both of them needed to do in order for this to happen more. My client said that without XLR8Forward, his direct report would not have had the courage to open up to him. Over the next several months, he will have a new story ready for each monthly leadership meeting and encourage his folks to do the same, while offering ideas for him to do better so that every day he can give his best.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “Life is simple. What I give out comes back to me.”
• At our kick-off Leadership Retreat for the XLR8 YOU!! Leadership Excellence process, we read a book summary: Napoleon Hill’s Golden Rules – The Lost Writings. He was most known for his book: Think and Grow Rich, which was one of the first audio-book sets I purchased. He is the first and foremost motivational author of all time, whose books have sold over 60 million copies worldwide.
• He interviewed hundreds of successful people in the early years of the twentieth century to distill the rules of success that still apply today. One was that Law of Reciprocation will cause people to treat you as well, or as poorly, as you treat them. We are all trying to get people to do what we wish them to do. If you want them to dislike you, you can treat them badly. If you want their respect, their friendship and their cooperation, you can extend them your own respect, friendship and cooperation.

The Law of Reciprocation & The Leadership Challenge:

In The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes and Posner, Model the Way is the first leadership dimension addressed. If you don’t believe in the messenger, you won’t believe the message. So this begs the question, who do the people who report to you think is the most important leader in your organization? YOU!!! When asked, people would like to work in an average organization with a great boss, rather than in a great organization with a lousy boss ~ unless, of course, they can transfer out!

You are more likely than any other leader to influence whether people will stay, perform at their best, wow customers, or be motivated to share the organization’s vision and values. Lots of evidence supports this claim.

1. According to Kouzes and Posner, longitudinal studies of corporate executives reveal that the single best predictor of career success is the relationship they had with their very first supervisor. The character and quality of that relationship – for example, the expectations that your first supervisor had about your work potential – are more important than where you went to school, what grades you got, what your studied, who your parents were, what field or industry you were in, and the like.

2. When asked what contributes to the ethical behavior in your organization, the most frequent response from employees – managers and individual contributors at every level – is “the behavior of the boss.” When asked what contributes most to the unethical behavior in your organization, the most frequent response is identical – “the behavior of my boss.”

So, if you are not getting what you want from your employees, first look in the mirror. They are just giving you what they are getting! The Law of Reciprocation never lies.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I drift off to sleep at night expressing appreciation and gratitude for my life.” Wayne Dyer referred to this as letting positive thoughts marinate all night long.
• We completed another XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence kick-off retreat last week at Bristol Harbour. Over the next month, each participant will be completing their “happiness list” which is read right before going to sleep. I mentioned this about a month ago and listed several of the items on my list.
• Where do the ideas for your list come from?
• From the everyday success exercise – focusing on “the present”
• One of your passions that you’d like more of in your life
• Positive behaviors you are trying to make a habit
• A leadership practice your people would like to see more of
• Behaviors supporting a value that is important to the leadership character you are trying to demonstrate
• Going over them each morning is a great way to set up your expectations for the day as well.

How do I do better?

Last week, we were reminded again on how hard it is to get ongoing feedback from the people around us. According to Chapter Three in A Leaders Legacy by Kouzes & Posner, the best-selling authors of The Leadership Challenge, “We all Need Loving Critics”. They found in their study of more than seventy thousand individuals who completed the Leadership Practices Inventory 360⁰ assessment, that the statement that ranks the lowest from the observers’ perspective is:

16. (He or she) asks for feedback on how his/her actions affect other people’s performance.

It is also our experience in nearly every leader we have worked with.

During our Leadership Challenge Jeopardy game, one of the answers developed referred to a once-a-month dialogue you could have with each of your direct reports. Have a two-way conversation answering these six key questions:

1. Where are we going?
2. Where are you going?
3. What are you doing well?
4. What suggestions do you have to do better?
5. How can I help you?
6. What suggestions do you have for me to do better?

The key is to exchange information about one another. Remember, coaching is not a once-a-year process. Do this at least every month, and you’ll be sure to notice continuous improvements as people become stronger and more capable as a result of being encouraged to learn from their experiences.

Next week: Using XLR8Forward

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I have perfect teachers in my life. I learn something constructive from every teacher in my life, even if it is learning how not to live.” I wrote my thoughts on this and was going through my e-mail and somebody sent me something that was much better, so here it is. She doesn’t know who wrote this, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter.
• Rules for being human:
• You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
• You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time information school called” Life”. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid.
• There are no mistakes, only lessons. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that "works."
• A lesson is repeated until learned. It will be presented in various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the next lesson.
• Learning lessons DOES NOT END.

Special Edition #2: What is Tiger teaching us?

I’m redoing my website. It will start with a very simple message:

Ultimately, we are all on the planet to find happiness. As leaders, we have chosen to serve others and to leave the world a better place through our work. We would like to invite you to a more effortless journey – your “In Search for Adventure,” guided by the formula … G + L + F = JOY!!! First and foremost, our goal is to XLR8 YOU!!! and your business with more clarity and focus with your “G” (God, Genius, Greatness). This leads to “L”, loving yourself by doing what you love in service of those who love what you do. In doing so, the “F” is your barometer, since life should be fun. When in sync, it all adds up to pure JOY!

Since I’m a sports nut, I watch ESPN and other sports programs. Many say that the only way for Tiger to “come back” is to start golfing and winning again. Is golfing Tiger’s “G”? He certainly is great at it. What if it was his father’s obsession and he simply found the perfect student? My dad wanted me to be an engineer, but flunking out of engineering school due to lack of interest and ability took care of that early! Are you doing what YOU want with your life?

These same reporters talk about not really knowing Tiger. I think it’s pretty clear that Tiger doesn’t know Tiger … how could we? This is where his real work lies, gaining clarity and focus around loving himself, then determining how he will take his many gifts and opportunities to serve those who love what he does. The only way to accomplish that is being “clean”. Are you clean?

The life that Tiger projected indicated he was having lots of “F”, fun. Now we know that is not the case. His barometer actually could have told him his life was way out of sync, IF he was paying attention. For many of us, we will do something to screw things up, just when we thought we had what we wanted. Guess what, you’ll need to dig a little deeper, but it’s worth it because it will add up to your pure JOY!