XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate.” Over the years, many of my self-help coaches have reinforced that how you start your day is important. I like what my colleague, Steve D’Annunzio, calls it - taking time for your spiritual practices.
• For me, this includes exercise, going over my `”XLR8 My Power” statement, my passions and my happiness list, and lastly meditating. I’ve passed along Steve’s short video to several clients recently – it being the missing piece of their spiritual practices. Maybe it is for you also. Try it! How to Meditate - click

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Here’s the last installment on using your unique ability to “XLR8” down the road to JOY!!! in our formula that begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. Again, if after you identify your Unique Ability you are only spending 10% of your time practicing it consciously (the average time most of us do), it will take a long time to get to that 10,000 hours of focus. What would your job engagement be like if you could double it?!

Try this very simple exercise to help you place more focus on your Unique Ability.

1. Grab a blank piece of paper and write your Unique Ability statement on the top.
1. Next, write in bold letters: “What are my 10 best habits?” that I have in support of my Unique Ability. List as many as you get right now. Then pay attention over the next few days to see how you might add to this list. Hopefully, you can list 10, if not, that’s okay.
2. You’ll find that these habits are: easy to do, you love doing them, they are very energizing, and you keep getting better at them.

2. Now on another blank piece of paper, draw a 4” diameter circle in the middle of the page. Inside, write down your list of your 10 best habits. Over the next week or so, write down those things you do on a regular basis that is not part of your 10 best habits.

Since there are only so many hours in your day, the only way to get more Unique Ability practice time, is to delegate or stop doing those tasks you do outside the circle. As you find more time, go back to the exercise detailed in my last blog and start doing more intentional things to hone your Unique Ability skills.

I have found this exercise very different from a traditional “delegation” exercise. Most of us would admit that we should delegate more, and do so after this exercise because of the inherent motivation to do more of your Unique Ability. Try it and let me know if it was helpful.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I communicate easily and lovingly with all living beings, great and small, and know that they deserve my love and protection.” This fits perfectly with a Warren Buffet interview someone sent me this week entitled: The Best Advice He Ever Received (click) He spoke of the biggest lesson he received from his father about unconditional love and that when you offer it to your child, you are “90% of the way home.”
• It made me wonder about offering it and accepting it. In my own family of origin, it was offered to all four of us, but only two of us accepted it. It has been the difference in the quality of my life, and hopefully, I passed it along to my children.
• Lastly, do you love yourself unconditionally (the “L” in my formula)? As Warren states, it’s not uncritical love and there may be days when you don’t feel like it, but you know that you can always come back. For those who don’t get or accept their parent’s unconditional love, it’s a long, difficult road, but one worth taking.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

We’ll continue this week on our road to JOY!!! in our formula that begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. As I mentioned last week, when I clarified my unique ability as an enthusiastic, positive, consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change, I got very charged up!

A deep thinker on this subject is Dan Sullivan, founder of The Strategic Coach Program (click). In his audio presentation, “Focusing Your Unique Ability,” he spoke of identifying your Unique Ability and then concentrating on it for at least 10 years, which means 10,000 hours of focus. This will transform it into “Genius” and provide a unique value to the world . . . a tall order for sure, but that’s when I started in 1994.

After following last week’s exercise, I understood how my Unique Ability had gotten me to where I was at the time, however, I also realized that I was successful doing much of this work unconsciously, and even in a self-doubting manner at times. I decided that my future success would hinge on being totally conscious, committed, and confident in continuously developing and practicing my Unique Ability. Since I didn’t want to be where I was anymore professionally, I had to explore what profession would allow me to make a living focusing on my Unique Ability. Given my experience as an executive leader and my passion for creating workplaces that truly valued people first, I was attracted to executive leadership coaching.

I used the words in my own Unique Ability to guide my studies:

1. Enthusiastic: (latin: en – in + theos – god/spirit) – thus my vision statement above inviting you and your organization to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

2. Positive: I have studied Positiveness; Appreciative Inquiry; Positive Psychology; and other forms of positive energy creation and healing incorporating them into my work and personal life.

3. Consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change: that sounds like a coach/consultant to me. I hired a coach, joined a professional coaching organization and took certification courses.

How could you look at your Unique Ability statement in the same way and be more conscious and committed to continuously improve and spend more time practicing it?

Next time, I’ll take you through a very simple exercise which will help you place more focus on your Unique Ability.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I am totally free to choose thoughts of joy. It is my Divine right to do so.” Here are some thoughts of joy that Mike Cullen sent me after last week’s blog related to the book: Positivity – Top Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life (click). It fits perfectly with Tool #10: Ritualize Gratitude in Chapter 11. He dug up an old poem which deserves a place on your refrigerator or happiness list for a period of time.

Be yourself..............Have a great day ahead

Be understanding to your perceived enemies.

Be loyal to your friends.

Be strong enough to face the world each day.

Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.

Be generous to those who need your help.

Be frugal with what you need yourself.

Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.

Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.

Be willing to share your joys.

Be willing to share the sorrows of others.

Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.

Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty.

Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.

Be last to criticize a colleague who fails.

Be sure where your next step will fall so that you will not tumble.

Be sure of your final destination in case you are going the wrong way.

Be loving to those who love you.

Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change.

Above all, be yourself.

Just Be Yourself!!!

XLR8 YOU!!! – An invitation to our vision:

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Indeed the road to JOY!!! in our formula begins with “G” - more clarity and focus on your God, Genius, and/or Greatness. In other words - just being yourself! The first step towards clarity is writing down what we call your inner guidance system consisting of Unique Ability, Personal Mission and Values, and Passions.

This was one of the most significant steps for me in starting The XLR8 Team. In the mid-90’s, I discovered my unique ability using this process:

1. Ask a minimum of 10 friends, family & colleagues: What is my unique ability - why do you have a relationship with me; what is it about me that makes our relationship special. Limit to 2 - 3 words or a short concise sentence.
2. On a piece of paper, draw a circle with as many lines as there are people who responded radiating from it - I call this the sundial. In each space, write the 2 or 3 words that had the most meaning from each of your participants. Highlight similar words or themes that belong in your unique ability statement.
3. Lastly, write a 15 – 20 word sentence that best captures those themes.

When I discovered mine - Enthusiastic, positive, consensus builder who advocates fresh, but often unpopular ideas in a way that leads to self discovery & change – I had no idea it would lead to coaching and The XLR8 Team.

Next week, we will talk about how to better utilize this aspect of your “G”.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I surround myself with positive-thinking people.” This may be easier said than done for some people given the adage “you can choose your friends, but not your family”. In any event, when you have the choice, who do you spend your time with? If you want more positive experiences in your life, check out who you spend your time with.
• Why is this important? I just completed a book entitled: “Positivity – Top Notch Research Reveals the 3 – 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life”. Positivity – Top Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life (click). Positive psychology pioneer, Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., introduces readers to the power of harnessing happiness to transform their lives backed up by impressive lab research. The author lays out the core truths and 10 forms of positivity - joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love - in a book that promises to change the way people look at feeling good. She provides scientific evidence to illustrate her findings that maintaining a 3:1 positivity ratio of positive thoughts to negative emotions creates a tipping point between languishing and flourishing. What is your Positivity Ratio? (click) Eighty percent of Americans fall short of this ratio!!!

PLEASE NOTE: In response to the last blog posting, Joan Shafer passed along Daniel Pink’s great YouTube video: “Drive – The Surprising Truth About What Motives Us” (click). Every leader should know this basic truth. Play it forward.

XLR8 YOU!!! – An Invitation to Our Vision

For all of us to awaken to the magnificence of our limitless possibilities.

Thanks to the people who asked where my blog was last week. I took Father’s Day off which was a wonderful celebration at our home with 25 family members. It was the first time in a while where all our adult children were in town. My middle daughter, Molly, gave me a “Chicken Soup for the Soul Book – Thanks Dad”, which I am enjoying. The stories are from children remembering how their Dads said “I love you”, taught them life lessons and gave them moments that last forever, etc.

Like coaching, great parents learn as much form their children as they teach. One story reminded me of when I quit my job to start The XLR8 Team in 1996. What terrible timing . . . my girls were 16 and 13, and my son was 7 years old. How would we pay for college? We survived – in fact, our last payment was April 1^st. The best encouragement came from my son, Andrew, in the form of a poem:

My Dad “XLR8s”

My Dad had a job that was really great, but he wants to XLR8.

XLR8 will be great when my Dad gets a lot of business dates.

He will charge a big, fat rate, so I hope he doesn’t show up late.

I really think it must be fate, for my Dad’s new business to XLR8!!!

I tell this story because he helped me as I attempted to keep my own 3:1 ratio on the many days of self doubt and negative thinking. I framed the poem and put it on my office wall along with my “inner guidance system” (unique ability, personal mission and values). In today’s terms, I include them as part of my vision board.

Let me end this week’s posting with another invitation that kept me going in 1999 from Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living,

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare

to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know

if you will risk looking like a fool for love,

for your dream, for the adventure of being alive…

This is the basis for XLR8 YOU!!! “Leadership Excellence”. It all starts with how you lead your life!!!