XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “Life is simple. What I give out comes back to me.”
• At our kick-off Leadership Retreat for the XLR8 YOU!! Leadership Excellence process, we read a book summary: Napoleon Hill’s Golden Rules – The Lost Writings. He was most known for his book: Think and Grow Rich, which was one of the first audio-book sets I purchased. He is the first and foremost motivational author of all time, whose books have sold over 60 million copies worldwide.
• He interviewed hundreds of successful people in the early years of the twentieth century to distill the rules of success that still apply today. One was that Law of Reciprocation will cause people to treat you as well, or as poorly, as you treat them. We are all trying to get people to do what we wish them to do. If you want them to dislike you, you can treat them badly. If you want their respect, their friendship and their cooperation, you can extend them your own respect, friendship and cooperation.

The Law of Reciprocation & The Leadership Challenge:

In The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes and Posner, Model the Way is the first leadership dimension addressed. If you don’t believe in the messenger, you won’t believe the message. So this begs the question, who do the people who report to you think is the most important leader in your organization? YOU!!! When asked, people would like to work in an average organization with a great boss, rather than in a great organization with a lousy boss ~ unless, of course, they can transfer out!

You are more likely than any other leader to influence whether people will stay, perform at their best, wow customers, or be motivated to share the organization’s vision and values. Lots of evidence supports this claim.

1. According to Kouzes and Posner, longitudinal studies of corporate executives reveal that the single best predictor of career success is the relationship they had with their very first supervisor. The character and quality of that relationship – for example, the expectations that your first supervisor had about your work potential – are more important than where you went to school, what grades you got, what your studied, who your parents were, what field or industry you were in, and the like.

2. When asked what contributes to the ethical behavior in your organization, the most frequent response from employees – managers and individual contributors at every level – is “the behavior of the boss.” When asked what contributes most to the unethical behavior in your organization, the most frequent response is identical – “the behavior of my boss.”

So, if you are not getting what you want from your employees, first look in the mirror. They are just giving you what they are getting! The Law of Reciprocation never lies.

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I drift off to sleep at night expressing appreciation and gratitude for my life.” Wayne Dyer referred to this as letting positive thoughts marinate all night long.
• We completed another XLR8 YOU!!! Leadership Excellence kick-off retreat last week at Bristol Harbour. Over the next month, each participant will be completing their “happiness list” which is read right before going to sleep. I mentioned this about a month ago and listed several of the items on my list.
• Where do the ideas for your list come from?
• From the everyday success exercise – focusing on “the present”
• One of your passions that you’d like more of in your life
• Positive behaviors you are trying to make a habit
• A leadership practice your people would like to see more of
• Behaviors supporting a value that is important to the leadership character you are trying to demonstrate
• Going over them each morning is a great way to set up your expectations for the day as well.

How do I do better?

Last week, we were reminded again on how hard it is to get ongoing feedback from the people around us. According to Chapter Three in A Leaders Legacy by Kouzes & Posner, the best-selling authors of The Leadership Challenge, “We all Need Loving Critics”. They found in their study of more than seventy thousand individuals who completed the Leadership Practices Inventory 360⁰ assessment, that the statement that ranks the lowest from the observers’ perspective is:

16. (He or she) asks for feedback on how his/her actions affect other people’s performance.

It is also our experience in nearly every leader we have worked with.

During our Leadership Challenge Jeopardy game, one of the answers developed referred to a once-a-month dialogue you could have with each of your direct reports. Have a two-way conversation answering these six key questions:

1. Where are we going?
2. Where are you going?
3. What are you doing well?
4. What suggestions do you have to do better?
5. How can I help you?
6. What suggestions do you have for me to do better?

The key is to exchange information about one another. Remember, coaching is not a once-a-year process. Do this at least every month, and you’ll be sure to notice continuous improvements as people become stronger and more capable as a result of being encouraged to learn from their experiences.

Next week: Using XLR8Forward

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “I have perfect teachers in my life. I learn something constructive from every teacher in my life, even if it is learning how not to live.” I wrote my thoughts on this and was going through my e-mail and somebody sent me something that was much better, so here it is. She doesn’t know who wrote this, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter.
• Rules for being human:
• You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
• You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time information school called” Life”. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid.
• There are no mistakes, only lessons. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that "works."
• A lesson is repeated until learned. It will be presented in various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the next lesson.
• Learning lessons DOES NOT END.

Special Edition #2: What is Tiger teaching us?

I’m redoing my website. It will start with a very simple message:

Ultimately, we are all on the planet to find happiness. As leaders, we have chosen to serve others and to leave the world a better place through our work. We would like to invite you to a more effortless journey – your “In Search for Adventure,” guided by the formula … G + L + F = JOY!!! First and foremost, our goal is to XLR8 YOU!!! and your business with more clarity and focus with your “G” (God, Genius, Greatness). This leads to “L”, loving yourself by doing what you love in service of those who love what you do. In doing so, the “F” is your barometer, since life should be fun. When in sync, it all adds up to pure JOY!

Since I’m a sports nut, I watch ESPN and other sports programs. Many say that the only way for Tiger to “come back” is to start golfing and winning again. Is golfing Tiger’s “G”? He certainly is great at it. What if it was his father’s obsession and he simply found the perfect student? My dad wanted me to be an engineer, but flunking out of engineering school due to lack of interest and ability took care of that early! Are you doing what YOU want with your life?

These same reporters talk about not really knowing Tiger. I think it’s pretty clear that Tiger doesn’t know Tiger … how could we? This is where his real work lies, gaining clarity and focus around loving himself, then determining how he will take his many gifts and opportunities to serve those who love what he does. The only way to accomplish that is being “clean”. Are you clean?

The life that Tiger projected indicated he was having lots of “F”, fun. Now we know that is not the case. His barometer actually could have told him his life was way out of sync, IF he was paying attention. For many of us, we will do something to screw things up, just when we thought we had what we wanted. Guess what, you’ll need to dig a little deeper, but it’s worth it because it will add up to your pure JOY!

XLR8 The Passionate Leader: (G + L + F = JOY!!!)

Blog Delivery Notice: For those who were wondering why you received five weeks worth of my blog last week . . . It took us a while to figure out why they were not being delivered in the first place, and then all backlogged posts were delivered at once. Hopefully, this won’t occur again. Sorry for any confusion.

Weekly Inspiration: You Can Do It! (click) Affirmation by Louise Hay from her 2010 calendar:

• “Sharing who I really am with others thrills my heart. The mystery of me unfolds in new ways every day.” When I speak about leadership development, I often say it all boils down to character and competence. For those of you who have worked with us, the character portion is described as your “Inner Guidance System”: unique ability, personal mission & values and passions. While sharing this information is uncomfortable at first, the people you are asking to follow your lead want to know this.
• This is particularly true when you have a new leadership assignment. One of my favorite leadership books is: The Leader’s Legacy by Kouzes and Posner. Chapter 11 is entitled “Leading From the Inside Out.” Authentic leadership does not come from the outside-in. It comes from the inside-out. Inside-out leadership means becoming the author of your own story and the making of your own history. Or, as we say: “In Search of Adventure.” Kouzes and Posner goes on further to say that people tell them they want to ask the new leader these questions:
• Who are you?
• What do you stand for and believe in?
• Where do you want to take us?
• Why you?
• What qualifies you for the job?
• What makes you think you can do this?
• Do you really know what you are getting yourself into?
• What changes are you planning to make?

Special Edition: The Leadership Lessons of Tiger Woods -

Like many of you, I have watched the Tiger Woods story unfold since his Thanksgiving Day massacre. I watched his apology a couple of times and asked those around me what their reactions were. Being and working in the addiction field for more than four decades, I understand some of what Tiger is experiencing and the lessons he is struggling to come to terms with:

1. Integrity – living consistent with your values. A quote I use from Bill George’s book: True North now is more understandable. “Character without capacity usually means weakness in a leader, but capacity without character means danger.” The same rules do apply to all of us - especially our own rules. With a little luck, they will save us.

2. Balance (physical, mental, emotional & spiritual) – where passions become obsessions. For many of us, it’s around work. How many times have I heard: “I love my work” from the hospital bed?

3. The “bubble” we live in, especially those with power, fame and/or fortune. Who do we have surrounding us that will tell us the truth? We think we are getting it, but are we really?

What are the leadership lessons from your perspective? Please share them.